Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Men and Natural Hair


So I've been natural since the summer of 2008.

Long time...I know. I've never really written about my natural experience as it pertains to men...BUT I figured now was as good a time as any. So here goes.

When it came to going natural I didn't think to much about what men would think. I was going natural for me. But I can't say I didn't completely care. Part of me thought men might think I was less attractive. Sometimes men look for women that have "good hair". I don't believe in the whole good hair vs bad hair thing...but if I did I don't have what's considered good hair. My hair is kinky, nappy, extremely small tight frizzy curls and I love them. And I decided whoever I ended up dating would have to love them too.

I actually got more attention from men once I went natural. I was talking to some guy my sophomore year of college that kept asking me to be his girlfriend. I never became his girlfriend but I sure am glad he kept asking. It gave me a confidence boost. My hair was really short and he would tell me he thought I was beautiful. 

Not too long after him I met someone else. I guess you could call it serious. This guy took some of my new found confidence away. He would ask me why I didn't put gel in my hair to get rid of some of the frizzy-ness and tell me about girls that had hair he thought was cute (they had a much looser curl pattern). Apparently some way along the way he fell in love with natural hair. And I got my confidence back.

Especially when I started receiving compliments from random guys I didn't know. I would be doing my laundry in the laundromat and a complete stranger would walk up to me and tell me how much he liked my hair. I love that some men do prefer women with hair just the way it grows out their head. No relaxer, wig, weave, or blow out. (My type of man!)

So over the years my confidence grew. But someone made comments that inspired this blog post. I don't even know the guy, he's just a "Facebook friend".  I had changed my picture to my Afro picture and made a comment on one of his pics so I guess he had to reciprocate. He said my picture looked like "black power" or something. I didn't take any offense from that. What I did take offense from was when he commented that he liked wigs a lot better and they have products that I could straighten my hair with.

And that's when I saw red.

And almost proceeded to go off on him. But I caught myself...and I calmly told him how I loved my hair because God created it himself and if God loved it enough to put it on my head, I loved it too. I said a whole bunch of other stuff but we won't go into that. In my mind, he must have some sort of self-hate issues if he feels that strongly about covering up the naps. I wonder what he see's in the mirror because he has nappy hair...just like me.

But I'm happy that happened. It just helped me reaffirm how comfortable I am in my own skin. I refuse to straighten my hair to make any man happy. 

Anyway, I feel a lot better. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

Thanks for listening and I would love to hear your opinions on the subject!