It's that time of the night where I just relax. But before that I figured I would knock out a post. Hopefully it's not too long. Since I've googled Bridgerton- all kinds of posts have been popping up. The one that tickled me the most was the one where an interviewer tried to shame the actress that plays Pen about her body. I love, love, love her response. Love it!
But anyway..this post is about relaxers. I'm not sure why but I was thinking back to my relaxer days. I would never, ever go back to a relaxer. I love my natural hair too much and would miss it immediately. Not to mention, the health risks. This article details the risks better than I can. Relaxers are extremely caustic- they eat through skin and will even dissolve hair if left on long enough. I remember the burning, the relaxer smell (eww), and the scabbing all too well. It's crazy for me to think back to the scabbing and chemical burns- because at some point that become normal to me. Also the rinsing- my hair always felt so flat and missing whenever I would rinse that relaxer out.
But let's back up to before I got my relaxer. I got mine in the 6th grade...and up until that point I hated my natural hair. I envied every girl with long straight hair that hung down their shoulders and they would easily brush through in class. I hated getting my hair combed or braided and brushed...because it hurt. I thought my hair was nappy and short., I never saw any coils in my hair. It was just puffy and frizzy. I also never, ever got any kind of compliment on my hair- which just reinforced in my mind how ugly my hair was. It's making me a little sad to type this. Where I was, I was only 1 of 3 brown girls in my grade and also the only one with natural hair. I had one friend with decent relaxed hair hair- the other had thin and relaxer eaten hair. But I had heard about this magical straightener and I wanted one...badly. I thought it would make me feel "pretty".
So my Mom gave in to my begging and relaxed my hair with the Just for Me kids relaxer. I still have the pink comb that came in the box and remember how excited I was when we read through the directions and finally applied it.
This song sounds familiar but not sure if I actually saw it growing up. I just remember I would get the box and stare at the cover just wishing my hair would come out exactly like that. I don't remember what my hair came out like. But the next 2-3 times my Mom had a friend that did my relaxer. She hooked my hair up, that's all I remember.
Not long after that we moved...and suddenly my Mom didn't want to do my relaxer anymore. I was in the 7th grade by that point so I started buying and relaxing my own hair. I was still pretty young so there was overlap going on. So much overlap. My hair was long at first then it seemed like it stopped growing. I blame it on the Just For Me Relaxer. I started buying a different one each time- Optimum Care, Dark and Lovely, Africas Best, Organic Root Stimulator. I was trying everything in the store at least once. Super and Regular. I remember some relaxers would work amazing and others my roots would end of puffier and frizzier afterwards. My hair was OK at that point for the most part.
I didn't really know how to take care of it. So I washed it, dried it, and then used a curling iron. Or hot rollers later on. I never used heat protectant. I liked to experiment with the products I used on it, I tried BB Castor Oil Hair Lotion..I especially remember using Profectiv Healthy Ends, Elasta QP Mango Butter.....and my Mom's favorite which was Luster's Pink Lotion. Oh and lots of sheen spray! I also had a few months where I used Blue Magic. My hair seemed to grow like crazy and retain length when I used that. I bought it because my aunt used it and her hair was always long. I think I also tried a few Motions products as well.
I would buy something different every time I needed to re-up. Then we moved again...and I still mostly did my relaxers, occasionally I went with my aunt to a stylist and had it done. She liked using the Precise Relaxer, which did not come with neutralizer in the box. And when I bought it to use on myself, I also did not use a neutralizer. Which is the ultimate no. I would just try to rinse as much as I could. I should have been bald. I really should have.
Eventually I started going into Sally's. And decided to try the Motions product line, eventually going with the Salon Herbals relaxer. That was my favorite relaxer. I loved it so much that when we moved again I found a website that sold a huge tube of it and used it until I ran out because I decided box relaxers just wen't for me. I was a lye relaxer believe. My hair really thrived with the lye relaxers. I can't find a picture of the relaxer but I did also have the shampoo as well and will never forget those ugly green and yellow bottles/packaging.
Even though I was doing the worst things you can do to hair...my hair grew and stayed thick and decently long. Even using heat and no heat protectant. Eventually I had a haircut and most of my hair was cut off, I was a hair "model" so I really had no say. I did really like that haircut though. And then I experimented with color. I dyed the bottom of my hair black and the top a brownish red shade and my hair started to grow back.
I relaxed my hair all through my very first semester of college. From there I started having nightmares where I would put relaxer in and then fall asleep in it. In the dream I would wake up a couple hours later and run to the dorm showers to rinse and would end up rinsing most my hair off. It was literally coming out in clumps in my dreams. It was so realistic that I question today whether it really happened or not. I even had dreams of using a relaxer with heat, for some reason I applied it and sat under a hooded dryer . The nightmare was so real. Around that time I ran out of the relaxer so decided to go natural. I also didn't feel like buying more. So I grew out my hair for about 6-7 months and then big chopped.
And I've been rocking the natural ever since. I did recently relive relaxers by watching a few people do their relaxer on youtube. Afterwards the hair just looks so limp and lifeless once the relaxer is rinses out. Curly, Coily, or Kinky hair just has so much life and character to it, it's so beautiful to me. It can be big, wild, and can grow to heaven! It's crazy to me that the beauty standard is straight hair and that I even felt the pressures of that as a child.
And I think I'm done rambling for the day....It's been fun!
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